Thursday, June 26, 2014

Hey Gents: an open letter to my male followers

Dear Gentlemen:
      I don't know that I actually have any male followers ... do I? But in the event that I have and you are just the type that lurk in corners and quietly follow, I would like to address this post to you, with love.
     You're such good peaches. By this, I mean that you put up with so much from me in the way of nonsense and I know that girls are able to stand a lot more than guys. If you have stuck around through everything (such as all this talk about Cinderella stories and the like) than you are even more decent chaps than I'd hoped. By the way, I have now read three of the Cinderella stories in the collection and I don't think you'd hate it. There's an awful lot of sense in the Modern Woman's mind that seeps into her telling of a fairy-tale. No spineless Prince Charmings for us, thankee.
      But this letter was not a plug for the male populace to lounge off and buy Five Glass Slippers rather, it is a chance to me to address you and to admit that I know I don't often remember you exist. I have even sometimes opened a post with "Hello, darlings!" which, though not exclusive to the female type, is probably a bit demeaning to a real man. (Darling Men I Know: is it? Do you hate it when I address you as "darling"? You ought to tell me. I will stop if I can.)
     What I wanted to say in this post is that I am looking to increase my male-reader following because there is nothing like having a sensible man's opinion on a matter. Many thanks to Wyatt Fairlead and my own brother, Daniel, for having aided me to the extent they have. I would have you gentlemen know that each of my stories goes past these two fellows to be scanned for matters like, "A man wouldn't say that" etc. before publication in an effort to make them palatable to most varieties of both sexes. I can't tell you how helpful it is to have someone look at my book from the opposite end of the spectrum and make comment.
     My mystery, Anon, Sir, Anon is coming out this autumn and I am much excited because one of the two main characters and practically all the side characters are men and I actually think I've pegged them well. I can't wait for you to meet the an & company and I can't wait to release this book and say, "Look, it's not a romance! Have at it, guys! I hope you like Mr. Orville Farnham and his gentlemen friends."
     Don't be afraid to be involved in this blog, my boys, because I intend to amend matters and start making my posts a bit less Addressed To The Female Contingent and more all-inclusive. I want to know you. I value your opinions. I would love to chat with you about your writing and hear your opinions of mine. I think it is clear by now that I don't expect sugar-coated praise when there are sensible opinions to be heard. Too long has The Inkpen Authoress been a host-place for an all-girls crowd without ever having invited the gentlemen in, though they are most welcome.
    So, dear man, if you are reading this post and find yourself "hear-hearing" in its presence, I invite you to leave a comment and tell me so. Girls, do keep silent this once and let the chaps speak. If there are no comments left, I suppose I'll keep it as proof that I've scared the gents off for the time being.
     In either case, you fellows are jolly welcome if you'd care to make yourselves known. :)
                   Cheers etc.,
                                    Rachel Heffington


Mark Coddington said...

"You're such good peaches."
Aw, shucks.

My relative silence around has little to nothing to do with the content of your blog (and no, I don't mind being included in a general "Darlings" greeting). Indeed, I love a good fairy tale, and have quite enjoyed the recent Cinderella conversations. However, my personality is (a) highly shy, making me highly reluctant to speak unless I am sufficently comfortable in my environment, and (b) highly introverted, making me highly reluctant to speak unless I feel I have something to say that is sufficiently helpful to the conversation. (By and large this is the case, I have my rare extroverted moments.)

Anyway, this guy has quite enjoyed his time lurking the shadows around these parts. :D

Rachel Heffington said...

Mark: You *are* a darling, then. You sound much like Wyatt Fairlead himself in the aspects of not saying anything unless there's something to be said, and I like that. Sensible men, you know.
I am so glad you feel welcome here after all, and I promise not to forget my silent fellows. ;)

Rachel said...

It does seem to be true that male blog readers are few and far between. My husband, my Dad, and my brother read my blog, and that's it, as far as I know, anyway!