"I am sure you remember me?!?!? Miss Petunia???? Only like, YOUR BIGGEST FAN EVERRRRR? (Please tell me if you think it bad form to end words with multiple repetitions of the last letter and I promise to NEVER do it again!) I have so much to tell you Miss Inkpen! So many "more wonderful things have happened" (there! I quoted Emma! I am not "so uneducated compared to Jane Fairfax"! There! I did it again! Did you notice????) since I last wrote to you in the autumn! (On that we will be silent; I know how it must pain you to remember how my entry slipped into the Lake of Shining Waters and you couldn't find it again when it came time to announce the winners of your last contest and so you had to choose one of the other entries instead of mine although mine was the one you really wanted to choose and yes even though I don't know for sure this is what happened I think it must have happened because I FEEL IT IN MY SOUL! Here, is my newest work for your judgement!!!!
"Spring-ring spring-bring spring-thing spring-king spring-sing spring-sauerkraut."
Very strange, is it not? If I continue to get such mail I'm in a fair way to have my head turned! Although methinks Miss Petunia is rather reminiscent of a female Mr. Collins! ;)